So, tell me…have you lost in love (again) to feel once again, hopelessly alone…but who says you must have someone to feel fulfilled? Do you feel as though you are damaged goods, not worthy of love that lasts? Don’t buy into that lie!!!!! YOU are fearfully & wonderfully made, your Creator delights in you so much that you can’t even count high enough the number of positive thoughts He has for/over you (Psalm 139).
I recall a time in my life that I longed for love. I was thirsty in a dry, barren land. I was a single parent in a depraved world of vultures (sorry guys & gals) but that is what I believed. The few times I met people I was reminded of how shallow the pool seemed (pun intended). But then I had an epiphany, perhaps the pursuit isn’t what it’s all about. I can’t help but believe that is what it took. I believe it took me getting to a place where I didn’t care about having a significant other; I had to get to that place of where I was content with what God was doing in & through me & that He was sufficient for me. That Jesus was all I needed. And so, I spent quite a period of time allowing Him to heal me and restore me. To change my perspective from what society had taught me (that I “needed” someone to feel loved) to allow me to receive what He was telling me: that I was already loved passionately & fully by Him. That the blood of Jesus was enough for me.
I wrote this in a previous post but feel as though it should be quoted again:
It seems we are ever-beating ourselves down at the mercy of an unmerciful cause that wasn’t what God had planned for us but more so something we desired. There are many people hurting right now… in the church, in the workplace, everywhere…hurting…rejected, failing, manipulated by unsubstantiated “losses”… but what if God’s healing, His mercy, His lessons come through pain? Have you considered this? I don’t think our precious, loving Father intentionally throws bolts at us but I do think that He allows life to happen to us… He allows us to reap the consequences & the experiences of life because He can see who/what we are deep down, and what/who we will be… His perspective is so much greater than what we can grasp. (Damaged Goods Part 1)
That period of healing I mentioned earlier is what allowed me to grow in my relationship with Christ and prepared my heart for my husband. You see God took the broken things of my past and made them into something beautiful. I believe that without the experiences I endured in the past, I couldn’t have fully, truly known the gift that is my husband. I don’t think I could appreciate him near the way I do now & always have, had I have not experienced the complete opposite of love. So God took those ashes & the dry barren dirt of my life & cultivated it into a perfect land ready to receive the love my husband has for me. January will make 5 wonderful years of marriage and I still tell him constantly that I love him & am thankful for him…and will for all the years ahead 🙂
All this was said because I feel led to remind you to not grow weary in your waiting on the Lord. Don’t rush it. Be patient, and allow Him to be your all sufficient one. To meet every need you have. All of them, even the relationship ones. Don’t be so consumed in your dissatisfaction and pursuit of Rachel that you go to bed thinking you have your Rachel that you wake up with Leah (thought obtained from a recent sermon at City Church & Genesis 29) or pursue your Delilah who ultimately leads to your demise (Judges 16)… I know too many people that long for love so much that they settle or do something irrational & remain in torrential relationships for false love only to find themselves feeling broken, damaged, hurt, and confused. Jumping from one heartache to the next…
Don’t grow weary in waiting…lean on the Lord…allow Him to be all that you need and don’t look for fulfilment in people…because people will fail you. But God never will. And when you finally get that deep down in your spirit, when your heart & self-worth is restored in Him and you meet the one that you will share the rest of your life with, you too will be able to appreciate & love them fully in the way that they deserve to be loved, because you yourself have that true love deep within you to give.
Love in Christ, Amy