I’ll Try Again Tomorrow

Um…yeah…I’ll try again tomorrow… But first, I’m going to be transparent and share a glimpse into my crazy life as a wife-mom-grad-student-employee.

  • -5:15 awake to the husband’s alarm clock and hope that it isn’t time for mine to go off yet.
  • 5:21 my alarm goes off – SNOOZE
  • 5:24 my second alarm goes off – SNOOZE (what? Like you don’t have to set more than one if you’re tired?) 😏
  • 5:26 my first alarm’s snooze goes off – turn off all alarms and imagine smashing them with a hammer and sleeping for 24 glorious hours
  • 5:30-6:30 Wake up teenager, shower, get husband’s knee walker down the stairs, get ready for work, pack salad for lunch, grab Naked juice for breakfast, read devotional and say a brief prayer, drop teenager off at high school
  • 6:35 remember teenager was supposed to wear JROTC uniform today – beat self up for forgetting, pep-talk self that it’s his responsibility. Question if I will receive the MOTY award? Nope. (MOTY = mother of the year).
    Stop at local pharmacy to pick up a card and candy bar for a friend. Contemplate a fresh Starbucks coffee, resist coffee. Contemplate a caramel fridge- shelf Starbucks coffee, resist cold caramel fridge coffee.
  • 7:10 arrive at work: proceed to wrestle the flow of emails coming in, meetings, deadlines, support documents to be written, other action items, etc etc etc. Pray for strength when someone gets continually catty with me via email unnecessarily, get reminded by Jesus that her sweet heart needs some grace just like me. Choose to be kind, although I wanted to be catty back – see immediate change in conversation and prompt resolution as a result of me listening to the Spirit guiding me and choosing grace swiftly. Feel guilty for not seeking His guidance more frequently. Thankful that I did it swiftly this time. Curious if I missed it with so-and-so over such-and-such. Refocus. Continue cycle though the afternoon.
  • 4:10 leave the office
  • 4:20 grocery store
  • 4:55 arrive home and take trash can halfway to curb, realize it’s Tuesday and trash services ran this morning, drag trash can back to its “home” – chat with friend walking her dog, start dinner, chat with teenager about his day
  • 5:15 misalign pot holder and burn palm on 400° cast iron skillet, pray profusely for said palm under cold running water, successfully complete dinner without burning anything (or anyone) else
  • 6:15 give in to coffee, hot caramelly golden coffee – feel no guilt for coffee
  • 6:20 receive pep talk from precious husband, encouraging me to hang in there and that the hard work with school will all pay off – love him and his heart for me
  • 6:30 call sweet mommy and catch up while prep documents and begin homework
  • 7:30 focus fully on grad-school homework with no distractions, struggle with understanding concepts, begin to generate useful work and start to order the mini-paper structure I must submit from the research tonight
  • 8:30 HIT THE STUPID BACK BUTTON AND LOSE ALL WORK AND NOTES DONE ON HOMEWORK FOR THE EVENING (let’s just point out its been 15 hours now…and still counting)
  • 8:30-8:40 pray, beg, cry, search fixes online, vent on Facebook, suck it up and restart the work in WORD and not online this time
  • 9:40 finish homework, realize teenager isn’t in bed yet – MOTY ain’t happening for 2015, message running buddy about our run in the morning, charge TomTom watch, find a snack, continue to whine about the extra hour+ of work I had to do due to my STUPID mistake
  • 10:00 decide to share a glimpse into my kind of crazy via a blog post tonight
  • 10:15 look at pile of dishes in sink, decide to pretend they aren’t there and sit on recliner and work on blog post.
  • sometime after 10:15 and before midnight: Finish blog draft, spend time chatting with husband, migrate to bed, continue chatting with husband laughing about funny stuff he is saying, fall asleep as I thank Jesus for this wonderful husband, and the beautiful peace and rest that will come from the Father before I begin again tomorrow.
  • And…scene.

I realize I’m crazy because I am a married, full-time employee, & mom of a teen that chose to go back to grad school at a full time rate of speed. But, I also know that we all have our own kind of crazy…and on those crazy days when EVERYTHING seems to go wrong (at least in our own minds it seems so)…I just want to share a reminder that we can always go to Jesus and tell Him our heart. Scream, beg, cry, vent, thank, and repeat. In whatever order, with or without any of those: whatever we have to bring- He wants it. He wants us. All of us. Our mess and our hopes. Our burned palms, dirty dishes, sleepy teens, and sleepy selves- He wants all of us.

I should’ve known that today would be interesting when I read my devotion from Sarah Young’s Jesus Calling book this morning. How about that little “when your plans are thwarted be on the lookout for Me” and she adds some stuff about trust and gratitude and everything you don’t want to do when things are going awry but- when I chose to do what He called me to this morning – my perspective changes and I can see that despite my circumstances and potential exhaustion He’s still sovereign. He’s still holy. He still loves me with an unfailing love that is not measured on my ability to mother according to my own standards, not burn myself cooking, or not do my homework right the first time. His love never fails. It never fails me, and it never fails you.

Perhaps in reading my silly perspective of my overflowing day you too can see that our light and momentary troubles are just that – temporary.

Let’s focus on the eternal and choose joy, trust, and gratitude.

In Christ,
Amy

Scriptures from my devotions this morning: Isaiah 55:9-11 & Jeremiah 29:11

PS- don’t lose yourself in the crazy. God created you with all of your passion, emotions, and hopes. He also knew your mistakes before you could ever live them and your dreams before you could dream them. Whatever He has called you to: it matters and you matter. Whether you are a stay at home mom, working mom, single mom, not a mom, student, missionary, military, whatever you are called to – He’s in it. Don’t let the chaos steal that from you. Keep doing you and seeking Him. And don’t forget to trust that He’s got you covered. ❤️

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