May is Military Family Appreciation month…and in honor of that, below I am sharing a glimpse into one of my nights during Justin’s deployment five years ago…
It’s 2010, and late that spring, on my 29th birthday, I said my goodbyes to my husband who was to leave for his flight out of the country and into the war zone. His unit was to be there 1 year, and at an undetermined time he was supposed to get a brief visit home for R & R.
This moment found us only 3 years into our marriage, only 3 years in this big-little city, and only 2 months of attending my new church. I was in a whirlwind! With gratitude I proclaim that in every moment…God carried Justin, Austin and I. No doubt! But…I still had broken moments and I shared my heart and my struggles in my writings. One of those outlets was this poem that was later published on an online military wives’ e-zine (magazine) site!
Draft from my “note” on Facebook where I first published the poem:
My love, my love, has gone to war,
like a dream, just so surreal
why won’t the pinch wake me up,
so heavy, this heartache that I feel
what a painful melody,
this war plays upon my soul
the lonely sorrows of my hand,
touching our bed, it is so cold
Ohhh, my heart is breaking
can’t I just sleep until he is home?
Ohhh, my mind is aching
at the sound of emptiness in my home
I know my peace comes from above
But my flesh has come from dust
And my mind is somewhere in between
Still I know in You, Lord, I can trust.
Inspire me to be strong for him
Help me to accept comfort offered by You
Guide me along this crooked path
I need Your love to guide me through
The moments of silence cover me,
Breaking my strength, my stance, my ground
Oh Lord be my foundation, my rock, my shield,
Hold me up, don’t let me drown…
Speak softly to me love sweet love,
my heart belongs to you…
Despite the miles, the hours, or days,
my love remains with you.
I wrote the majority of that poem earlier in the evening of 5/19/2010 when I was sad because I was not expecting to hear from my precious husband for a few days & the reality had sank in that the deployment had officially begun…the moments of silence that could & did last for days had begun. I noted in my Facebook post that night that I did get the pleasant surprise of a phone call though (yay for unexpected blessings!!)I just wanted to share one of my “moments” during the deployment. If you know someone who has a spouse deployed, please cover them with your love and prayers. I know the sweet love, prayers and kind gestures from my friends and loved ones during our deployment were a direct ray of the Lord’s goodness in my life.
Blessings in Christ,