I have been battling a very difficult season. I’ve been interceding and praying with a fervency I have difficulty finding words to express. I’ve poured God’s Word over my wounded heart and spirit and renewed my mind with it’s healing balm of promises and truths. Very recently I’ve seen shimmers of light peaking through the dark clouds. Echoes of life and hope coming in and touching my soul. As I contemplated these moments of good, I realized that the difficult was and is necessary. It was then, that I pictured a garden.
I’m no gardener. I’m no farmer. My thumb is as black as the darkest night, in the center of the longest tunnel and brings inevitable death to every green thing that relies on me for water or care. I mean, isn’t the rain supposed to water them? Okay, fine. You want a plant to die, please bring it to me. I’ve got you.
However, I have plant lovers in my family and circle of friends. I remember being a young child watching my dad on a tractor, pulling a tilling attachment over a large section of our grassy yard. In hours, where once there was lush green grass, there was now broken soil. The broken soil revealed what was within and what was beneath. Roots, worms, insects, and rocks were exposed for all to see and the sun to heat. All that was hidden, has been brought out into the light and no longer allowed to hide in the darkness of the facade of beauty within the grass and weeds.
Recently I’ve watched such exposure within someone I love deeply and my earth has certainly been broken and any assumptions I had have been laid bare before me.
I’m facing a tilling season.
And I’m starting to realize that this breaking of me, is the making of me.
This breaking of the person I love going through a tough time, is the making of them.
This breaking of you, is the making of you, too.
That hard thing you’re going through, it won’t be forever. It won’t be easy. But if you are a child of the One true King, and you seek Him with fervency throughout this tilling, life is ahead of you. Life is within you and waiting to bloom… And oh the beautiful purpose He can give to our trials we endure. The life we can speak into others once we’re on the other side and they’re just approaching the trenches. But right now…perhaps you’re in the middle of that hard thing. You’re in the tilling…the breaking of your earth, revealing all that is within and underneath and you’re ready for life to return. Perhaps a seed is on it’s way…or has already been planted…
I know that a seed is a dead thing. But when that dead thing is placed into that fertilized and churned soil, provided with thirst quenching water, and exposure to the life-giving sunlight – it is revived. New life is born.
The old dead way gives birth to a new life way.
Perhaps you are being prepared for a planting. Perhaps you need to ask what is this tilling bringing me to? Perhaps you need to fulfill your thirst with His water. Perhaps you need to expose yourself to the life-giving Son-light. Perhaps it’s in this time, you will be revived. Perhaps this is the moment for which you’ve been created – He’s writing your story, and it’s bigger and better than you ever could’ve dreamed (Esther 4:14, Ecclesiastes 3:1.)
I’m confident of this because I can trace His goodness in so many places all my days of following Him (even in the darkest of difficulties) – seek Him and He will guide you. (Lamentations 3:24-26, Proverbs 3:5-6) He is your deliver. Your victory. Your shield. (Psalm 91:9-16, Zephaniah 3:17)
Spend time in His Word.
Pray. It doesn’t have to be fancy. Talk to Him like you talk to your Bestie.
Meditate on good things that bring you to remembrance and hope. (Philippians 4:8, Matthew 22:37) Such as fill your mind with His scriptures and promises. Listen to music that reminds you of His hope and promises and not of your pain. Seek the counsel of wise friends and let them hold up your arms in this battle like Aaron did for Moses. Let them carry your burden in prayer. (Ecclesiastes 4:12, Galatians 6:2)
May this breaking of you, be the making of you.
May you find shimmers of hope in the Son-light.
Love in Christ,
Here are some of my current favorite resources:
- Book: The Power of Crying Out (Bill Gothard)
- Music: Battles Album (Rita Springer)
- Devotionals: YouVersion Bible App (search app store on smart phone)
- 7 Summer Decisions sermon series (City Church)